Quietly Married







My husband and I have been married for over a year and a half and been together for over three and a half years.  I try to calculate how long we have been together over and over because it seems like so much longer.  I think that we both knew immediately that this was going to be forever.  Our “how we met” stories vary but our immediate attraction and chemistry has always been undisputed.  When we found out that we were expecting, it was a bit of a shock and took some time to adjust to but we both stepped up to the plate and decided to be the best parents we could be for our son.  We had always talked about being married and I expressed that I wanted to be married before our son was born, but I did not know if that was really going to happen.  Adam, being the man that he is, heard me and decided that we should be more than just boyfriend/girlfriend sooner than later.

He planned out a beautiful engagement which I of course shared with everyone via social media and we personally discussed our plans to marry.  Once we started to discuss getting married before the baby with our friends and family, we began to get a push back that we did not expect.  Our family and friends were rightfully concerned with our timeline and voiced their opinions to us.  When we discussed the push back and concerns with each other, we decided that we knew what was best for our family, so we decided to move forward with our plans quietly.

I was working for a judge that summer and shyly asked if she could marry us.  She responded enthusiastically and we planned for a late summer union.  We did not pick a date or publicize our wedding but our close friends were aware and a few decided that they had to be present.  I wanted to keep it as simple and quiet as possible.  I could not take much more excitement on top of being 8 months pregnant in the summer, new homeowners and now a newlywed.  After the ceremony, we had a small reception with the law clerks, my judge, her assistant and my friends.  Adam and I ventured to a far off land to indulge in breakfast at Cracker Barrel and continue with our regularly scheduled lives.

A friend that was present asked if I wanted to share the photos and I decided that I wanted to keep it quiet for a little while.  I did not want the negative commentary from anyone or have to explain why we decided to make that leap into foreverdom at that moment.  I was scarred from sharing my pregnancy news with some and receiving unsolicited advice that was contrary to a decision that I had already made.  I could not take the emotional stress of people’s judgment so I decided to keep it under wraps.  Some of the apprehension was the shock of being married but a lot of it was enjoying the peace of only a few people knowing.  When I started to refer to Adam as my husband, people began to ask questions.  I was always honest but I never addressed the issue across the board.  One day I decided to change my Facebook marital status (sounds silly saying it out loud).  A lot of people were shocked but most were congratulatory and seemingly genuine.  Despite sharing the news, I still never shared a picture.  So today, as I decided to be vulnerable and share my entire truth through my new blog, I decided today was a perfect time.

I am so happy with our decision.  It was the best decision we could have made and although that first year was rough, we are growing individually, as parents and as husband and wife.  This entire post is really a message to myself to live in my truth always and not retreat because of the fear of others opinions.  Be blessed. Be You. Tell your story.


10 thoughts on “Quietly Married

  1. I love this! While I would have loved to share in your special day, I completely understand why you and Adam chose this path. Praying God’s continued blessings for you and your family 🙂

  2. You made a great choice for you!

  3. That’s some good photography girl! Haha I’m so happy to have been present on that special day, thanks so much for allowing me to be a part of it, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Such a tasteful, humble moment in time that changed the course of your life for the best! #wbsc After years of “he not da one!” when talking about anyone else before him, I was so happy shortly after our first date with Adam (lol!) when we could finally say “oh yeah, he da one” in unison as only sister-friends can do 🙂 You two have gifted me a true blessing to be godmother to that “bump,” and the three of you will always have my support and love 🙂

  4. I love the story and the pic. Live ya truth!! Now
    The next topic to change the last name or not to lol everyone thinks so differently about it. Xoxo

    • LOL well I will share my story about that too!!! Its just as complicated.

    • I can’t wait to read that one, just walked out the Social Security office on Friday and seriously contemplated whipping the car around and retracting my paperwork lol! Twinnie, I can’t wait to read your articulated stance lol

  5. well I’m glad this was addressed because I thought I totally missed something when you popped up “married” LOL
    but nevertheless, I completely understand (and respect) your decision… especially because I did the same thing! We just hit our 5 year mark in March. Marriage CAN be a struggle, as a couple & individually, so I wish nothing but the best for you 🙂
    But congratulations (officially) and best of wishes, from one Neigh to the next XOXO

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