Cutting Family Ties: Hard but Necessary

I have pushed through some extremely tough moments alone.  I have cut my grieving short to gather my self and present myself to the world as a woman wounded but not defeated.  Many times this hurt has come at the hand of those I couldn’t choose… I have held onto dead familial relationships because I loved them for what they used to be.  I have revived familial relationships because I wanted my life to be like that of my friends.   I have renewed familial relationships with the hope that this time things would be different.  But a few days ago I hit that turning point.  The point you get to where you either remain loaded down and get off course or you release the excess baggage and stay on track.

Some people have willingly removed themselves from my life and I have accepted their egress happily.  I cherish the memories and wish them nothing but the best.  Others have needed to be forcefully removed.  In my maturation I have learned my own personal limits.  I know when to put my hand up to end conversations that I know will end in more than hurt feelings.  But it is not as easy as it sounds.

These relationships have been the ones that should have been forever.  The people who should be standing by my side during the triumphs and the tragedies.  Time has taught me that everyone’s story is not the same.  That my forever family may not hold the official titles but they have earned the right.  They show up when it matters, they give just as much as they take, they grow as I grow.

Although my hands are constantly moving, juggling the good and the bad of life, people see the superwoman in me.  I thrive off of the love and support but when I hurt, I remind myself that superwomen hurt too.  I won’t drown in shoulda coulda wouldas or wish for things to be any way than what they are.

As I travel this journey, I am kindly letting people off at their exit without stopping the car.  I won’t cry anymore over those who chose to leave and those who I had to escort out of the whip.  I only want to prosper with those who want to be present.

Bury the dead. Cut the ties. Embrace your forever family.  Regardless of their official title. Be you. Do you. Tell your own story.  On your own terms.

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