A friend posted this image on her Instagram yesterday and it made me realize how even though my son is out of time for the summer, I am still not enjoying my quiet time in the shower. I get into the shower with the end already in mind. I have not seized one moment this summer to just stop and take a bath or a long shower that is free of my rambling thoughts. I get in and think of how far behind I am in studying for the bar, how much housework I have not done, how I need to let the dog out and oh yea, dinner. Despite having a huge weight of responsibility lifted off of my shoulders, I am still weighed down with…everything.
Reading the meme yesterday made me realize that I need to stop living for the end of the day and start enjoying each moment. I am 18 days away from the biggest exam of my life and I have not once began to appreciate the fact that I was afforded a free bar prep course, I don’t have to balance the rigorous schedule of being a parent while studying, and I have a perfectly quiet home to study in all day. These major blessings are things that many others do not have and can only wish for.
So, for the next 18 days I am going to enjoy studying, enjoy making flashcards, enjoy writing essays and reviewing my wrong answers. I am going to enjoy these last few days of quiet showers without a little hand peeping in and sleeping in past 5 am or whatever random time Deuce decides to get up. I am going to enjoy not having to watch Cailou, Mickey Mouse or any other children’s show or avoiding watching adult shows around my little sponge. I am going to enjoy not having to fight traffic, rush to the baby sitter and rush home to do more work. I am going to enjoy making everything spicy like my husband and I like it. I am going to enjoy every adult conversation that I can engage in without being interrupted. I am going to enjoy the blessing of having my son in a house full of love for an entire summer to spend time with family that adores him and would love to keep him if I said the word.
And when my son gets home I am going to enjoy all of his hugs, kisses and questions. I am going to enjoy his excursions, curiosity and frustration. I am going to embrace his thirst for knowledge, exploration and sometimes peeing on the floor instead of in the pot. I am going to enjoy our naps, our late nights and early mornings. I am going to stop missing what could be and enjoying what is. My heart has been longing for him, but I know that him being here would make me pull my hair out because I would not be able to get my work done.
We are all living lives longing for things that we cannot have at the moment, instead of enjoying and making the best of the right now. We all want to be on a beach, but nothing is stopping us from putting on a bathing suit and turning on the sprinklers or laying out tanning and imaging the fresh air of Turks and Caicos. We all want the best job in the world that we enjoy and enriches someone else’s life but nothing is stopping us from taking a few hours of our free time to volunteer and make a large impact on the lives of a few. We all want something different, instead of appreciating the great things that are going on right now and being patient as time catches up to our other desires.
So many people say how they didn’t enjoy their wedding, the birth of their child, their graduation or other major moments in life because they were worried about all of the wrong things. Let us focus on the right, the right now and the reality that if we can make the most of today, those dreams of tomorrow will be that much sweeter!
Enjoy the moment. Take it all in. The good. The bad. The ugly. The easy. The hard. The real. If you cannot change your right now, figure out how to make the best of it. Enjoy the moment. Be you. Do you. Tell your own story. On your own terms.