I rarely watch TV because I cannot take the noise. Between my son, the dog, the iPad and everything else that is going on in my house and in my head, I am very sensitive to unnecessary noise. Despite desiring a quieter environment, I fill my quiet space with social media and news that keeps my emotions high and thoughts constantly running through my head. Although I think that I am relaxing, I am actually creating more tension within myself by attempting to think through so many of the issues that are happening daily. My spirit kept telling me that I needed to fast from social media, but I did not see social media as a reason for me not being able to decompress and think through some very important personal issues.
So, today I decided that I am going to take a break from everyone’s updates and adventures and just listen to the silence. I woke up early this morning to let the dog out and ended up not being able to go back to sleep. I immediately filled this quiet time with social media updates that I had missed while I was sleeping. Much of what I read was humdrum, a few thought-provoking posts, but most of it was not going to help me solve much of what I am dealing with at this moment. I realized that I spent an hour just thumbing through the various sites and could have used that quiet time to pray and think. I closed my applications, turned over my phone and went into a moment of prayer and meditation. I dozed off and woke back up still very tense, but those few moments told me that I needed more quiet time.
My husband always says that I spend too much time in my phone, but I take his comments lightly because I feel he is being judgey. While in law school, he saw my levels of productivity when I took a break from social media and my levels when I was actively engaged in social media. He has a perspective that I don’t and instead of me being open to his opinion, I talked myself into thinking that I was perfectly balancing my consumption of social media and my quiet time. His opinion has some validity, but I had to get to this place on my own time and own accord. So, today I am here, listening to the silence. I am allowing the words of my mind to run its course without having to fight against the images or updates I am reading. I am taking a step back from the flow of life and taking a deep breath. I am inhaling strength, power, and self-control. I am exhaling stress, doubt, and fear. I am inhaling success, favor, and productivity. I am exhaling failure, missed opportunities, and laziness. I am inhaling patience, kindness, and empathy. I am exhaling impatience, bitterness, and selfishness.
I am releasing the toxicity that has been built up and cleansing my soul for something new. Greater may be ready to enter into your life, but you may be filled with so much noise and negativity that there is no place for the energy needed to get to the next step of your journey. Everyday there are new lessons to be learned but there has to room for them to take root in your heart. Many of those lessons cannot be learned from listening to others but listening to the silence. The silence is speaking and it is telling you something. Do you hear it?
Be you. Do you. Tell your own story. On your own terms.