I thought I knew what love was. I do not even know what I thought, but I thought I knew something at every point of my life when I proclaimed to love someone. As the years go by and I evolve each day, I realize that I know nothing about love and I have so much yet to learn. Learning what love is and how to love is key to maintaining long-lasting relationships that surpass distance and time.
I have friends that I have known for years who are all very different, yet our relationships have withstood distance and time because we love each other. Many of them were my first friends in college and we never let go of each others hands as we walked along our separate journeys. Because we have been friends for so long, we eventually learned AND accepted how each person wanted or needed to be loved.
Some people need to be told that they are loved often, some people need that intimate connection, while others know the genuineness of your bond, and the only thing that matters is that you are present when needed. Although we enter into intimate relationships with this knowledge, we make the road difficult by expecting love to be present and automatic. Love is not a feeling, but the bond that is built between two people.
Looking back on my long-term friendships, I see that we did not love each other in the beginning like we love each other now. We learned how each person wanted to be loved and learned to respect that persons love language over time. As a wife I am learning that how I loved my husband year 1 may not be how my husband needs to be loved in year 4. The most important thing is to allow your love to be fluid and encompass your partners current needs, instead of simply loving the same way because that is all you know.
Change is uncomfortable, but it is necessary for growth. I am learning so much and accepting that I have so much to learn. I won’t be the same person tomorrow as I was yesterday, because I am progressing in every area of my life, including learning how to love.
Love is our superpower. Be you. Do you. Tell your own story. On your own terms.