anxiety

September 22, 2014

Manage Your Stress Successfully

I deal with my stress in many ways.  I run, I read, I sleep, I cry, I do yoga, I eat Talenti, I tweet, I blog, and I call my friends or my family.  Sometimes when I am extremely overwhelmed I scream so loud that my throat itches afterwards.  That always makes me feel better but I don’t use that method too often.  Some of these methods are great means of managing stress, while others are not so great.  The most content people in life are those who are able to manage their stress successfully.

I am a high-strung, Type A, Virgo.  All of this makes dealing with stress important because I find stress in very minor things.  For example, I hate that my husband does not put away his clothes that I have sorted, washed, folded and placed in his room.  This brings me so much anxiety because I want everything in the right place all of the time.  I understand that may not happen with kids around and I have dealt with that by putting all of the kids toys in the basement.  My husband does not see the big deal in clothes being in a basket for weeks at a time and no matter how many times I explain my feelings on it, he still does not see the big deal.    I had to come to grips with our different outlooks, close the door to that room, and put that at the bottom of the list of things to worry about.

I always stress about not being a perfect parent.  Some things that helps me to be a better parent is to count down before reacting.  This allows me the time to assess if it’s really worth getting worked up about.  Many times I have to remind myself that children will be children and they don’t mean any harm by throwing your iPad on the floor when they are upset.  They really think it is fun to just jump off the last two steps onto a wooden floor and they don’t know that they could crack their skull.   There are plenty of books but not enough time to read so you live, learn and call your friends who have older kids and can help you through these rough patches.

The only way I can properly work through my daily stressors and the others that life may bring is by digging deeper into each situation and finding appropriate solutions to each problem.  The simpler issues I can resolve quickly but others take a lot of thought and time.  I can easily (took a few years) not worry about the basket of clothes but I have to actively work on being more patient with everyone around me.  The stress of life can show up in your health and in your lack of success.  Stress kills physically and will kill your dreams if you let it.

Life is full of stress and we have to be prepared to deal with it in order to get the most out of each day and every moment.  The time we spend stressing could be used in developing ideas and plans to get you through the current phase or to get to the next level.  The stress we allow to build up inside of us can cause digestive problems, fertility problems, urinary problems or a weakened immune system.  Finding a healthy way to manage stress will enhance your life and your positive perception will create better outcomes to situations that could have ended disastrously.

I am actively working on managing my stress and making the best of every situation.  We are all a work in progress but learning how to address certain aspects of our lives will help us in the long run.  This is an individualized journey, so how you best deal with your stress may be completely different than mine but having readily available methods will ensure your progressive success.

Find your inner peace and work hard to stay there.  Rid yourself of negative energy, people or situations.  Be positive.  Stay encouraged.  Encourage others.  Be kind to others.  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your own story.  On your own terms.

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July 27, 2014

How to Raise the Perfect Child

At every major stage or milestone of my son’s life, I always call another parent who has just experienced this stage or a parent who has experienced it multiple times with their own children, to hear their thoughts on how I should proceed.  I go in expecting to get very sound advice, specific steps on how to get through this stage alive and advice on alternative methods.  Generally, I find that my expectations of myself and my son are too high.  The reality of what is to come is something that cannot be pinpointed to any particular plan that will make the next few weeks or months easier or perfect.

I asked my friend about potty training and she advised me that children will do anything for one M&M.  That put my entire experience and expectation into perspective.  Potty training is not easy, or a science and different for all children.  I realized that I just have to find what will push my son to go to the bathroom consistently and eventually he will form a habit that will become his norm.

The more I talk to other parents about their experiences, I realize I have to just relax.  Children are very smart, but they have not figured out every little thing just yet. Duh.  It takes time to get them to fully comprehend things that we assume we learned easily.  Everyone is looking for the answer to questions that have no answers to them.  What works for one family, may not work for you because the dynamics in your household is different, or your schedule is different or your child is just on their own timeline.

I see a friend’s daughter who articulates so well and suddenly it is my mission to get my child to articulate well.  Someone tells me that their child was potty trained at 18 months and suddenly I am on a mission to get my son potty trained before his 2nd birthday.  I hear of a child who has learned 4 languages by four and suddenly my son needs to be put in an intense class to make sure he has another language on his baby resume. There are specific skills that your child needs to acquire to ensure that they are hitting their milestones & that they are ready for the next stage in their life, but much of that comes with time, patience & allowing them to evolve naturally.

All of these anxieties come with trying to raise the “perfect child.”  We want our son to experience everything that we did not and give him opportunities we wished we had growing up.  In the haste to make his life experience greater than ours, we have to make sure that we are letting our child be perfect in his own right.  Everyone thinks that their child is perfect because they are.  They are all special in their own right and it is the little things that make you smile that makes them perfect.  That is why this little gift was sent to you.  Not for you to control their every move but for you to watch the beauty of life evolve through their eyes.  Their perspective on life and things are so different and the hope that they inspire for a better tomorrow is what we all need to survive some of our hardest days.

My child is already perfect.  The person who needs to work on becoming a more perfect person is me.  Be you. Do you.  Tell your own story.  On your own terms.

June 25, 2014 Quote

Do not be anxio…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillippians 4:6

When things seem to be spiraling out of control, take a step back from it all and have a quiet moment with God.  Make your desires and needs known to Him and let Him transform a seemingly large problem into effective solutions.  In the quiet of that moment, your sincerity and honesty is what God wants to see.  He wants to see you vulnerable and submitting to the great things He has in store for you. People can make suggestions but God is the only problem solver.  He can use those who you would never reach out to, to turn your problems around.  Don’t be anxious.  Pray.  Be thankful.  Make your requests known.  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your own story.  On your own terms.