What is Your Soul Telling You

My soul is telling me that my life is my own and I do not owe anyone anything. My soul is telling me that if I do not learn patience, then I will never get beyond where I am today. My soul is telling me that fear is an excuse to keep you from following your dreams. My soul is telling me that the more I pour into others, the more God will pour into me. My soul speaks to me and even when I do not listen, my soul continues to guide me in the right direction until I can finally accept my truth.

The power of meditation and silence allows you to stop going through the motions and truly find purpose in your movements. Meditation gives you an opportunity to explore your yesterday and prepare for right now. Societal pressures keeps us on edge and living with expectations, instead of appreciating and learning from our present place in life. Being in tune with your self, the universe, and your purpose is necessary to match your worldly experience with your spiritual journey. There are not two opportunities at this life, but one that is essential to making the world go round.

I have resisted against my own thoughts on the issues of church, raising my child, and caring for self. I have allowed tradition, how I was raised, and the opinions of others to push me to be someone who I do not desire to be. I tried to attend church weekly and although the structure was good for my son, I did not feel like I was giving him the best experience. I want to teach my son the word through life experiences. When you read Matthew 25:34-40, you begin to understand that God is not in a building, but He is in his people. We talk about serving God, but we refuse to serve his people. We skip over the homeless, the hungry, and the broken to go to church and seek the God that is right outside the church door. I do not judge those who attend church regularly, because there is power in the synergy of like minded people worshipping and praising at the same time. I simply have decided to walk this journey along a different path until God leads me to the church that He wants me to take root in.

I did a short video on my experience with God and in that moment so many of my lingering questions were answered. This woman touched my soul in a place that was hidden behind the chaos of everyday life. She brought me back to a place I have been fighting against, and assured me that I am where I am supposed to be and I was doing what I am supposed to be doing. My mission will not be complete until I do what I am supposed to be doing. I do not seek a following, I do not seek to be an example, I only seek to walk my ordered steps. There is something or someone out there waiting for me and I have to find them and pour into them. My purpose is to serve and to raise my son in a lifestyle of constant service.

My soul is telling me to do the work of the Lord until there is no more work to do. I am now looking forward to Sundays again and taking my walk to another level. This is not about anything but love. That is what my soul is telling me.

#ServiceSundays. Be you. Do you. Tell your own story. On your own terms.

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Who Are You? 

Nobody could have told me this is who I would be ten years ago. I had to find myself through all of my ups and downs. I had to retreat from the noise and search for the best me many times. I had to look at myself in the mirror and face my weaknesses. No one can tell you who you are. People can speak life or death over your life, but you are the ultimate connection between whether you will succeed or fail.

Never take the words of someone and use them as the catalyst to your success or the excuse to fail. Do not quote someone else in your weakest moments. Listen to what God is saying to you. The message is personal and will get you out of that dark space much faster than quoting others who have succeeded. 

The truth I live is mine to profess and to share. I hope that it inspires you to find your truth, share it, and inspire those around you. Many of us are hanging on to the tailwinds of successful people’s words instead of searching for our own deeper connection. You cannot get to the top off of someone else’s fumes. Create your own path and see how easier it is to navigate to the next level. 

When I ask who you are, I am not asking for physical attributes, personal characteritistics, or family ties. Those things are a piece of the puzzle, but who you truly are lies in your purpose. The greatest and only reason you were created on this earth. You have to find that reason and live it. The confusion we have at forks in the road is because we are trying to follow someone else’s path instead of knowing who we are and following the path created for us. 

I stopped praying for material things many years ago. I never asked God for a house, a car, or money. I asked that His will be done, that favor rain down upon me, that my steps be ordered and for peace and wisdom. These intangibles have opened up more doors than having tangibles that weren’t going to get me closer to my truth and purpose in life.  The material things will come when you are where you are supposed to be. 

Many people want the manifestation of the work before they put in any labor. You want to look the part, but refuse to live the part. Who are you mirroring yourself after? Who are you trying to prove yourself too? Why must people see you? When you have a gift and you are walking in your truth, your gift should be the priority. Like a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. When you are walking along your own path, everyone will be able to see you. When you are walking down the crowded path, you have to fight for attention. You have to talk loud, you have to dress loud, and assimilate to those who surround you. 

I realized I did not have to fight when I was where I was supposed to be. I did not have to break down doors and compromise my vision to be in a room full of shells. I could run in circles of power without feeling uncomfortable about where I was and where I was headed. There was no hierarchy. We all deserved to be here as can only help each other go higher. 

Everyone will not believe in your dream, but the few special people who do are the ones you have to cherish. The amazing souls that can see the flicker in your eye and sense your heart beating faster when you speak are your assets. The company you keep should reflect where you are going, not where you came from. Know who you are and focus on fulfilling your purpose. Everything else is a waste of time. 

Who are you? Who am I? Ask yourself. Accept the answer. Ride to the moon. No limits. Be you. Do you. Tell your own story. On your own terms. 

Getting to Your Destiny

This week has shown me that I am where I am supposed to be.  I started my new job and met some amazing people, cared for some resilient patients, and sat across from remarkable families.  I am happy because there is so much room for growth and many opportunities to learn from my co-workers, patients, and the organization.  Despite me desperately wanting a job, I prayed and was very specific about what I wanted in my next position.  As I drove up to my job on the first day, I realized that all of my prayers had been answered.

Over the past few months I started to discuss how much I missed being involved in patient care.  I have so many great memories from my experiences with my patients and co-workers.  The camaraderie that comes with  trying to save a life every day is indescribable and life altering.  I loved the spontaneity of my day and being able to meet so many different people.  I do admit that the hospital environment was not perfect, and lacked much of the autonomy and respect that experienced nurses deserved.  So stepping into a position in which I have extreme amounts of autonomy, a self-set pace, and the flexibility that most desire is a direct gift from God.

There is no perfect place, position or person to work for or with.  All life gives are opportunities that you have to make the best of, learn from, and grow beyond.  As a true millennial, I desire to create my own parameters, my own lane, and make things better for the next generation.  I have accepted that I am here because I am supposed to be here, but I have not accepted this place as my final destination.  On the road to your destiny are growth points and tunnels that you have to go through to see the broader picture of things that have always been working together.  You have to believe that every lesson that you are learning is necessary for your future success.

Many times we become frustrated because we are not where we want to be, but if we reflect on our choices it is only because we were not ready.  The path to our destiny is not straight or free of any detours, bumps, or bridges.  We have to go through it all to appreciate our destination.

Be confident in your journey.  Stay the course.  Stay focused.  Stay encouraged.  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your own story.  On your own terms.

Inspire Through Your Actions

There is a difference between those who are teaching the people as a leader and those who are teaching people to lead.  There are many people who can tell you from the pulpit that you can be successful, but few are willing to teach you how to be successful.  People are using their words to inspire instead of their actions.  Your words should be used engage and encourage, but your actions should inspire.

There is so much work to do and a shallow analysis of the current state of America will not change our tomorrow.  I am trying to balance my engagement and my action.  It is easy to sit behind a computer and say words that sound good, but it takes so much more effort to do the work that supports those words.  I am challenging myself to do less talking and more action.  I am working with grassroots organizations and personal initiatives to change the world, but I can do more. We all can do more.

I cannot tell you what your more is, because it is personal.  You have to tap into your passion and work hard at creating that change.  Life is going to be what we make of it.  We cannot leave it up to the next generation to make things better.  We have the power and we can change the world today.

Less talk.  More action.  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your own story.  On your own terms.

Maybe I Am Doing This Thing All Wrong

Today I was mentally exhausted and decided to take a midday rest, despite being exactly 1 week away from my BIG EXAM.  But in these quiet moments I started to think, “Maybe I am doing this thing all wrong.”  I am attempting to fight so many wrongs on so many different fronts, and I am not being as productive as I can be.  I want to change what is already in motion.  I want to change things that are outside of my control.  I want to change people, and we all know that changing people by just your words is impossible.  So, I started to think of how I can work smarter and not harder.  How can I fight the injustices of the world that are being waged against every single woman, man, or child? How can I fight the injustices that are based on race, gender or sexuality? How can I make this world better for those here and those to come?

I don’t have the answer to any of these questions right now, but I decided to stop using my energy to fight those who are stuck in their beliefs and instead use all of my energy to shine a light in this world that may not change them, but will help develop others.  Every chance I get, I am going to be the best me, give 1000% and make sure that I am leaving every place better than it was when I came.  I can’t divide my attention between those who choose to hate and those who need love. I have to solely focus on those who need love, so that they can be edified and grow into beautiful beams of light.

We don’t need fewer people that hate, but more people who love.  We don’t need fewer people that aren’t racist, we need more people who can appreciate people for their differences.  We don’t need fewer people who are more tolerant, we just need more people who will encourage people to be themselves.  If we outnumber those who hate, who are racist or who are intolerant, soon those on the other side will simply conform to the notions of the majority.  We cannot feed into the vicious cycle of trying to recruit the enemy, but instead we have to gather our allies and show them our strength and power.  I have been doing this thing wrong for a long time, but today I have decided to take the steps to do it the only way that makes sense to me.

Legends are known for doing something extremely well.  How do you want to be remembered? What do you do well? Note it.  Know it. Do it.  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your own stories. On your own terms.

What is Ambition?

Dreams + Action = Ambition

Ambition can be seen as a verb.  A verb conveys an action.  Ambition conveys you to use drive, determination, perseverance, resilience, and courage to elevate and complete the steps necessary to fulfill your dreams.  Ambition is taking the dream that no one may believe in, and writing out a plan of action.  Ambition is taking the plan of action and working on it day after day after day.  Ambition is failing and still believing in yourself.  Ambition is making small success along the way.  Ambition is starting a movement with just a few friends and creating a change that affects the world.  Ambition is getting an education or a job to help your family.  Ambition is getting up everyday to provide for your family as you try to remain passionate about your dream.  Ambition is being involved in your community, reaching back to lift as you climb.

Outside forces are diluting the hard work that goes into the word ambition.  The legs, backs and shoulders that ambition stands on did not dream, wake up then succeed.  They dreamed, failed, became doubtful and then kept dreaming.  Ambition allows you to develop your craft.  Ambition pushes you when you have become complacent.  Ambition is not fancy cars, clothes and houses.  Ambition is having more than enough, being fulfilled physically, spiritually and mentally.  Ambition is being in a place you never thought you would get to because someone kept telling you that you are undeserving, unqualified or unworthy.

Ambition. The word begets a cloud of dreams when you say it. Ambition.  It brings forth hope and power.  Ambition.  The blood begins to rush through your body and adrenaline kicks in saying, “Do something now!”  Ambition is not benefitting from an activity that diminishes those around.  Ambition is not elevating while tearing others down.  Ambition is not succeeding while everyone else around you fails.  Ambition is power.  Ambition is strength.  Ambition is also grace.

Be ambitious in your words and actions.  Be ambitious as you smile through it all. Be you.  Do you.  Tell your story.  On your own terms.

When Taking Risks Leaves You Broke

I take a lot of risks.  I just live.  I think about something I want to do and I do it.  I always pray about it, do a balancing test but in the end even if the good outweighs the bad 51% to 49%, I am going to go for it.  Going to college was a risk.  Taking a job in Baltimore while all of my friends were still in DC was a huge risk.  Moving back to DC because I couldn’t take Baltimore anymore was an even bigger risk.  Leaving my job to go back to law school…RISK!

Although these sound like calculated decisions, which in many ways they were, in many ways they were not.  I have given all of my furniture away and slept on the floor of a family members house, slept in an empty apartment, went without cable and TV and much more because I am more risky than calculated.

Many times this decision has left me broke.  Prior to law school, I always paid my bills on time and lived off what I had left.  I worked ridiculous amounts of overtime so I could at least enjoy my weekends regardless of bills, but my risky decisions have left me in tears many nights, trying to figure out how I was going to pay for something I needed.

Surprisingly, I have never had to go without.  I am the Queen (ask my Twnnie) of getting random checks in the mail. GOD PROVIDES.  I have amazing friends who always come through in the clutchest of moments and now I have a supportive husband who is self-less and extremely humble.  But I am still hard on myself for not being the perfect saver.

Through this apparent self-pity party I realized that despite all of my many risk, everything has always worked out.  I received a grant for two years to pay for my undergrad loans.  When I moved back to DC, I met amazing friends and expanded my support system.  Law school was one of the best intellectual experiences I have ever experienced thus far.  My options in life are limitless and this is just the beginning.

I really am writing this post to remind myself that everything has always worked out.  That these anxiety attacks are the work of the enemy because there is something greater to come.  One day I will be in a position to help little girls like me and more importantly, I possess more in life than money can buy.

I want to be that person who has the suggested amount of savings, can lend people money without ever needing it back, and can live without ever being broke.  At this point, I know it will take time, patience, and a financial adviser (one is already on speed dial).  But I am happy, I am blessed, I have no regrets and I have done everything in life that I have ever wanted to do and will continue to take risks in the future.

Don’t be so hard on yourself and don’t focus on your imperfections.  If you were perfect you wouldn’t need God, your friends or anyone else.  It takes time to build an empire and your steps are ordered.  See the past 27 years of your life (insert your age for mine).  Be you.  Do you.  Tell your story.  On your own terms.